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Noah Rubin’s “Behind The Racquet” • With • Monica Puig | Tennis 10sBalls
- Updated: October 23, 2019
Photo by Behind The Racquet via Facebook
Editor’s note: 10sBalls thanks Noah Rubin for giving us permission to repost these great stories. We wish him and this endeavor the best of luck. Great seeing Noah wearing K-Swiss and playing Solinco Strings.
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“I have been clearly struggling for the past three years, dealing with all that pressure and expectation that came after winning gold in the 2016 Olympics. It’s probably been the hardest three years that I’ve ever faced in my entire life. There is a trauma after winning something that major that pushes you flat on your butt. I had an entire country watching me, which was extraordinary, but they didn’t see the darker side. As I became more upset I saw that depression was inevitable when it was tough to get out of bed. At one point you’re on the top of the world and all of a sudden it ends and you just don’t know what just happened. It’s like whiplash. I couldn’t find ways to motivate myself to play. I just didn’t know what to do with myself. There were many times when all I wanted to do was cry every day, in bed, in a dark room. You just continue to question where all your motivation and drive went. That’s when I started realizing that something was wrong and needed to be dealt with. I’m usually, when it comes to my feelings, an introvert, but it’s tough because people normally see me as a social butterfly, very much an extroverted person. When it came to talking about my feelings it wasn’t easy. It was only when I was able to accept it for what it was, that I was able to deal with it. I had to tell myself, ‘Hey I have a little bit of an issue and I need to take care of myself.’ It took a lot of soul searching for me to finally realize that there was something going on and to not think it was just a figment of my imagination. It has taken me until this point now, October 2019, to get my feet back on the ground and find myself back on the right track. All of these moments come with a tremendous amount of self-shame and self-criticism. Social media is also something that has affected me since I’ve received so much backlash and negativity. Everybody’s just always waiting for you to screw up. During these tough times, I’ve really had to rely on my family and my team, that I now have re-established these past five weeks…” @monicaace93
Continue reading full story at behindtheracquet.com
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