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Behind The Racquet • Shares A Behind The Scenes With Tennis 10sBalls • Allie Kiick
- Updated: February 26, 2019

Editor’s note: 10sBalls thanks Noah Rubin for giving us permission to repost these great stories. We wish him and this endeavor the best of luck. Great seeing Noah wearing K-Swiss and playing Solinco Strings.
“About 5 years ago my father slowly started to develop Alzheimers. He was a running back for the Miami Dolphins. He was hit in the head so many times and concussions never kept players out of games. It progressed pretty rapidly. We ended up putting him in an assisted living home. It’s been one of the hardest things I had to endure in my life, which includes having cancer, knee surgeries and my mother having a stroke. This is beyond all of that. Tennis used to be my escape but recently it has just been taking away time that could be spent with my dad. The time with my dad is limited, every day matters, since it’s only getting worse. My biggest fear is that I will come back from a tournament and look at him and all there will be is confusion. I kind of find peace in the fact that he wants me to be doing this and not give my dream up for him, but at what point is it okay to say missing time with my father is worth that? Every day I step on the court and think about why I am not with him. Between playing tournaments and training in Orlando, I am not near him. I try to hide it from people. When they ask how he is doing, I just say that he is fine and happy, but inside everything is screaming that it’s not okay. It weighs on me every single day. I even hide my feelings from friends and family. I live with the guilt every day that I am not doing enough. Even on the phone he is a different person, asking the same question over and over. At times I avoid seeing or talking to him because it isn’t easy to witness my dad declining. I am 23 years old and already lost a large part of my father. He is still around but he truly isn’t there. He was always my hero and someone who I can relate to about playing a professional sport. I don’t have that anymore, I don’t have him anymore.”-Allie Kiick
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