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Noah Rubin’s “Behind The Racquet” • With • Carol Zhao | Tennis 10sBalls
- Updated: May 27, 2019

Editor’s note: 10sBalls thanks Noah Rubin for giving us permission to repost these great stories. We wish him and this endeavor the best of luck. Great seeing Noah wearing K-Swiss and playing Solinco Strings.
“Woke up this morning to your familiar touch
As I stretch my elbow above my head, the pain is just as much
My body is sore and empty, my soul wary and incomplete
It’s day number 363.
—
Eighteen needle marks on my body
Doctors say this time is the last, I feel crazy
To side with hope, to take your pain and uncertainty
And now there’s a hole in my knee, we were almost ready
—
Sometimes I feel like giving up, but my brain won’t let me
Just hold on a little longer, keep it steady
Sometimes I feel like letting go, but my heart won’t let me
If you wanted these words, set me free I’m ready
—
Been to the sides of the universe to find a cure
Burning leaves, blue blankets, hanging off a tree and more
I run for the keys but you hide the locks in the floor
You’re the toughest villain I’ve met, of that I’m sure
—
I feel as though I’ve crawled this mile before
I’m showing up again on my knees at your door
I’m doing all I can, two thousand hours by the shore
Nothing is enough for you, is it anymore
—
Sometimes I feel like giving up, but my brain won’t let me
Just hold on a little longer, keep it steady
Sometimes I feel like letting go, but my heart won’t let me
If you wanted these words, set me free I’m ready
—
How you’ve underestimated me, it seems
You’ve actually brought me closer to my dreams
The time and space to become a better version, you’ll see
A dozen wrong guesses, I can take a thirteenth
—
I’ve banged on walls, I’ve screamed in the streets
I’ve held back tears and worried myself to sleep
But even on a crutch and a sling, I can swing
Because in your longest goodbye, I still believe in me.”
-Carol Zhao
****
You can follow Carol Zhao on the links below:
Facebook | Carol Zhao
Twitter | @CarolZhao95
Instagram | @carolzhao95
You can check out more Behind The Racquet stories on the link below:
Facebook | Behind The Racquet
Twitter | @BehindTRacquet
Instagram | @behindtheracquet